no,i am not ok.
i am exhausted.
life is exhausting.
loving people is exhausting.
and thinking you've lost someone you love?



well,that's the most exhausting of all.

-asyraf

i came.i saw.i wanted to conquer.for good reasons.but you didn't even give me the chance.don't say i didn't try.don't say i didn't wait.i tried.i waited.not days,not weeks,not months.but years.i doubt you even noticed.if you did,you obviously didn't care.it is time i get closure.you're not worth my time.you're not worth my money.you're not worth my investment.unless you convince me otherwise.i am still willing but i've got my limits too.

-asyraf

What i want,is for you to not be scared to try again
What i want,is for you to not change the way you are
What i want,is for you to rest upon a chance
What i want,is for you to give us a chance
What i want,is for you to know that i've been fighting for a chance
What i want,is for you to mend
What i want,is for you to take my hand
What i want,is for you to be on the top of the world
What i want,is for you to let me help you get there
What i want,is for you to know this isn't the end
What i want,is for you to know that i will never stop
What i want,is for you to forget
What i want,is for you to know i'm here now
What i want,is for you to know i have always been and always will be
What i want,is the best for you
What i want,simply,is you.

Let's talk about one,
You gotta hear me out
Do you really want to be the last to know
what it's all about
Let's talk about who you say
Is the essence of your life
But he'll eat you up from inside slow
And then he doesn't wanna know

Listen, I mean it
There's nothing that he's worthy of
He's just another player
I've seen enough, now this must come to an end

Beautiful you know you leave me breathless when
You fall into my eyes
My heart belongs to you my angel
There is just no reason for you to let
Life bring you down
Please come with me and let me show you

I know that at times it may be hard
To let go of yourself
Baby girl tonight leave your cares behind
Because it's time to celebrate
All night long I'll sing and dance with you
My sweet princess only if you trust in this...
Take my hand and follow me
I will sweep you
(I will sweep you)
Off of your feet
All night long I will sing and dance with you

Everytime I look at you I can't believe
How Magical you are
The stars belong to you my angel
Run away with me into a world where time
Seems to not exist
The smile on my face will show you

I know that at times it may be hard
To let go of yourself
Baby girl tonight leave your cares behind
Because it's time to celebrate
All night long I'll sing and dance with you
My sweet princess only if you trust in this...
Take my hand and follow me
I will sweep you
(I will sweep you)
Off of your feet
This night will only end when we stop
Dancing

My sweet princess
I will sing and dance with you
(All night long)
The stars, they belong, to you My Angel

All night long I'll sing and dance with you
My sweet princess only if you trust in this...
Take my hand and follow me
I will sweep you
(I will sweep you)
Off of your feet
This night will only end when we stop

So I'm thinking we should maybe just run away from here.
With no plan of coming back.
We can stay away forever, our anguished love will be all we have.
And I will save your life.
It's happening again, it's happening again.
I won't watch you die.
It's happening again, it's happening again.

I can see it's not the first time you have come and taken her from me.
Rest assured it's not the last time, I'm going to set you free.
You took her once, shame on you.
You took her twice, shame on me.

Whisper softly and tell me you love me.
I'm losing you, I don't know what to do.
Please forgive me and know that I am sorry.
I'm losing you, I don't know what to do.
Trapped inside a memory, I'm falling apart.

Do you realize it's over?
There's no chance of leaving here alive.
You don't realize what you're saying, without me you can't survive.
You took her once, shame on you.
You took her twice, shame on me.

Whisper softly and tell me you love me.
I'm losing you, I don't know what to do.
Please forgive me and know that I am sorry.
I'm losing you, I don't know what to do.
Trapped inside a memory, I've lost it all.

I'm falling apart, you've ripped out my heart.
I'm falling apart, I don't know where to start.
I don't want to go, it's happening again, it's happening again
But I can't let it show, I'll be with her again, together till the end.
If I have to go, it's happening again, it's happening again
I'll be damned if I'm alone, I'll be with her again.

Whisper softly and tell me you love me.
I'm losing you, I don't know what to do.
Please forgive me and know that I am sorry.
I'm losing you, I don't know what to do.
Trapped inside a memory, I'm falling apart.
I've lost it all.

it's not the first time you have taken away from me
you took her from me once,shame on you
if i let you take her from me twice,shame on me
oh and i'll kill you too

on a side note,i don't know how long i can keep it from you
i'm bursting to let you know
honestly,i'm about to break
i'm falling apart
i'm standing closer to the edge than i should be allowed

-asyraf

i am getting nowhere.
i am not even close to getting a step ahead.
i am where i've always been.
at the bottom of you pecking order.

-asyraf

You can’t see that I’m hurting . You don’t notice the pain . It feels like everyone else is sitting in the sunshine , while I drown in the rain . I don’t understand why you fight for the ones that make you cry while you keep turning a blind eye to me who,as much as you allow me to, tries my best to make and keep you happy.

as they say,it takes both hands to clap.
for now and for the forseeable future,i will be clapping air and clapping alone.
you,playfully,take every chance you get to insult me.
i don't mind that.
in fact,i kind of like it.
it's a part of you that makes you seem so irresistible.
it's one of the many things about you that i find attractive.
but the way you react to the thought of us or even when people tease about us,that just hurts.
i don't know why,in that sense,you detest me so much.
too bad i don't have the guts to ask you what you really feel.
too bad i don't have the guts to tell you how i really feel.
because i treasure this close friendship that we have somehow forged and i don't want to mess it up.
but i really wonder,at times,what you would say or do,if you really knew..

-asyraf

i've got so much to say,i'll keep going.
my best dude says,
'just go for it.
someone who never gives up is infinitely better than someone who backs down'
but if it's for a lost cause,am i doing the right thing by not giving up?
i struggle to go on.hell,i am constantly on the verge of breaking down by keeping all this inside from you.
let me know just how you feel
for i am lost without you
i cannot live at all.
at.fucking.all.


there's oceans in between us.sure.
but to me,that's not very far.
i am willing to go that distance just to get to you.
words are only words.
but i can prove it to you.
whatever it is,whatever happens between you and your issues,
if it makes you happy,even if it is at my own expense,then so be it.
to see you happy,to see you smile,at the end of the day,is what matters most to me.

" pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

you could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that I'll protect you
from all of the obscene

I wonder what you're doing
imagine where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far"

-asyraf

Labels: because i care;

people say that i am crazy and blind
but i am willing to risk it all away
am i so blind that i keep making myself go through this shit?
there are so many out there and yet it is you i want,still want,will ever want.
why?why the fuck do i feel this way?
you've made it clear about where i stand.
so why am i tearing up as i write this out?
i am not ashamed to admit that.
call me loser.whatever.
this is the only outlet i have to let all of this out.
i certainly won't be saying any of this to you personally.
you've got so much issues of your own that you are going through.
see?this is my problem.
i care too much.it's my fucking weakness.
that and the fact that my knees go weak everytime i see you.

i may not look like it,but inside,my heart is in turmoil.
this emotional rollercoaster,i've been on it for way too fucking long.
let me out.please.
i will never be as good as he was.
i will never be able to do the things he did for you.
i don't aim to.
because in the end,he broke your heart.
and that's not what i want.
i want to save you.heal you.
tell me why can't i be there where you are?
am i so bad?are your standards just so fucking high?
you said that,back then,i came at the wrong time.
when IS the right time?
i don't blame you.
i suppose i am just not good enough for you.

" i've got this feeling
that you're not gonna stay
it's burning within me

i wish i didn't need you so bad
your face just won't go away"

-asyraf

Labels: a hopeless romantic

for reasons that have been eluding me,i can never ever figure out why the fuck i keep coming back.
why bother?you obviously don't.you pretend like i mean nothing to you.
having said that,why do you keep going back to him?he obviously treats you like shit.
i can help you.i can save you.i'll treat you like as if it's the last thing i'll ever do on earth.
i am almost literally crying out to you.you keep ignoring me.
i can't understand why we can't be.

call me crazy but everytime i close my eyes,it's you i see.it's you i think about.
each time you brush me off,a little bit more of me dies inside.
what is it that am i lacking?what does he have that i don't?
money?cars?if that's all you care about,i can give you all that too.in time.
i pretend not to care.pretend that it is not fucking killing me inside.
but deep down,it's you i want and no other.
what do i have to do,honestly!?
they say i'm wasting my time.it's a lost cause.
but how can i give up on you when you're all i think about day in,day out?

i am going crazy keeping all of this inside.i am dying to tell you.
but they say it's better if i let things be.it's better off this way.
so i keep silent and hold it in.for how much longer,i am not sure.
my chest is in knots as i sit here writing this out and you on my mind.
nobody else but you.
let me in...
i can heal you.i can save you.
a chance.that is all i am asking for.
i am not forcing you.i understand you have your own issues.
this is just a confession from a broken heart.



"with or without you
i feel the pain"


-asyraf

Labels: fighting for a chance.