it may seem like i don't care
it may seem like it does not affect me
it is all just a pretense
because deep down
i am afraid
afraid of the hurt
afraid of getting broken again
afraid of the answer
afraid of failing again
afraid of the disappointment
afraid i will never be able to pick myself again

i lie to myself every single moment
that i do not care anymore
the honest fact is
i still do
i still check on you
even though you will never know
i am happy whenever you are
i wish you would let me reach out to you everytime you go down
i wish you were here..
but i do not have the courage
to believe...

...