for God's sake
please
don't you forget me
i will
wait for
you

...

'Your life is my well being
And if it lay in the shadows then so be it
But let it be known that this soldier will not rest a day
Until he lays in the glamour and the grace of his bride
I will not rest one day until my victims blood is shed
Up and down the shorelines'

just what the fuck is going on?
i waited.
thats what the fuck happened.
i waited.
and just like that.
its all motherfucking gone.
i was so certain.
you were the one.
fuck.
WHY!?
why does it have to always be this way?
why?
why me?
shit.
its motherfucking 6 in the fucking morning.
with you on my mind.
and i came across them.
and the motherfucking pain.
it fucking hurts!
fuck i promised myself
i would never let myself
get shot
get broken
ever again
but just look at me now.
fucking pathetic.
heartbroken.again.
i fucking allowed myself
to get heartbroken.again.
drowning in my own misery.
at 6 in the fucking morning.
fucking alone.
at home.
what the fuck has become of me?
i dont have a soul anymore.
fuck.
i dont have a heart anymore.
it can never be pieced again.
and i am going to have to face you.
the whole day.
today.
i will be painfully reminded.
constantly.
did i mentioned it fucking hurts?
it fucking hurts damn it!

'i still want you
i still need you
i will wait for you'

i am digging my own grave
you will never feel the same way
but mine just won't go away

of why i lost faith in you
you're back with a vengeance
when all i wanted was her
but you could not even let me have that
i let my heart had its way
and it listened to your whisperings
you tugged its strings
and i fell
head over heels
i let you in
thinking you would heal me
for real this time
this heart will never be the same
the pieces can never be pieced again
this sorrow
this helplessness
this fucking misery
i am willingly
drowning myself in
will i ever pick myself up this time
you smiled
at what she meant to me
you smiled
knowing this was a perfect chance
to hurt me
you smiled
your smile
hauntingly beautiful
all i wanted...
all i wanted was...
all i wanted was her...

i hate you,Love.


'why am i always waiting around;
to have my heart ripped off?

i don't want perfect;
i just want you'

so far
so lost
so confused
yet i keep on going
yet i keep on trying
yet i keep on wanting

am i foolish
am i delusional
or
am i on the right path?


'the roads are dark;
but i'll keep finding a way to get to you

living in the shadows of those who are already there;
is such a hard,cold,miserable reality

a little bit,a little while;
is just not enough'

...

its so much harder to breathe;
when my every breath screams your name

this fire inside;
its still burns

i'd trade just about anything;
to have you here with me

note to self:-
there is no rush.

...

are you afraid
because you know you're wrong
or
are you afraid
because you know i am right?

...

'you chose the wrong person;
to play with

but i am still willing to forgive you;
if you'll admit your mistake'

it gets harder to breathe;
when every breath screams your name

my life turns black and white;
an ending without a story to begin with

you won't stop chasing your dreams,your wants;
neither will i

...

after all these time
how could i have not seen
that it has always been you
who was at the back of my mind
you have never really given me a chance
but you gave me a reason why
i comprehend and respect your decision
but
i
will
wait
this feeling is unreciprocated
but it is you
who i want
its is you
who i need
and when you wake up
from you never-ending nightmares
i
will
be
here

...

to you
the one who called herself my 'friend'
the one who is just across me everyday
the one who made me confused
the one who i may or may not still have feelings for
the one who treated me like a cheap toy
the one who came to me when she needed me
the one who now threw me out when she got bored
thank you
for nothing
for the hurt
for treating me like dirt
thank you
really

...

obviously you don't need me around as much
as it used to be
and i am not referring
to the usual suspect

...

to my bestest dude,manan
you'll survive NS man
i have faith in you
but i'm sure you already know that
like what i said when i text you yesterday
i really wish we could have met up
but you won't be gone long
you know where to find me
if you need me

...

'all i can say is;
maybe'

FUCK LOVE

i am losing my senses
i am losing you
i am losing everything
i am going off the deep end
there's no saving me now
or is there?

...

'this miserable black heart;
has broken apart

it will never be same;
no matter the game

there is no bright side;
it is so dark and cold in here'

'i would trade just about anything;
to have you'

...

i've been trying to tell you
i've been dying to reach you
but my extension cord
couldn't reach that far

...

tell me
what do you see?

'pain;
helplessness;
patience;'

i can tell
when i should
just give up
no point fighting
for a lost cause
my mind screams
GIVE UP
my heart says
if you give up now
you will never know
what might and could happen

....


'blindly following my heart;'

'i'll tear in two;
and never lie to you'

'singing a song;
but you won't sing along'

lost
clueless
unsure
undecided
i am trying to keep it
the way you want it
i am struggling to hold myself in
i am burning up
tearing up on fire
this passion inside
begs to be set free
but there are lines i can't cross
and promises i have to keep
the questions are
when and how

...

'watching it all unfolds awkwardly;
from a distance in misery'

disappointed
and
down
to
the
core

...

Bring your secrets to me.
Just give me your hands
and I'll let you feel the wounds
they put in me
If you believe in me
how can I be dissolving?
If you'd believe me
I'd tell you everything

Do you fall too? (Everytime that I)
Yes I fall. (Everytime that I)
Do you want to, (Try to pacify)
fall into me? (Fall into me, fall into me)
Into me.

...


'and i keep on pretending
that everything is fine
and i keep on acting
like i am fine'

lost
there is this urge
that i can't suppress inside
to look for you
this need
i can't seem to fight
that dark feeling of dread
upon realisation
these thoughts of you
and knowing
that you don't feel the same
that you're not by my side
is eating me up inside

...

'i think i am going crazy;if i am not already'

don't change a thing
don't change
the person i fell for
don't change at all
it might be too much for me
but to me you're perfect
maybe it's just my deluded fantasy
maybe it's just another one of my many dreams
that will never be achieved
whatever it is
i know what i want
and
i want you
if you need me
i'll be somewhere


waiting

...

'and i make believe
that i am just fine
if your hand is in mine
i will be fine'