beneath this exterior
is just
emptiness
nothingness
helplessness
hopelessness
senseless
thoughtless
gutless
careless
mindless

none of you can spare me
for i am just
another picture
on the pile
...

'my eyes are closed
but i am still awake
my last breath
is yours to take'

one lost,confused,motherfucking loser
i've never thought about how just a few words can kill
now i am feeling the aftershocks of it
burn me down now
it's the only way to save me from the pain
i'm burning
because i cared
because i was naive
because i listened to my heart instead of my head
why did i listened to my heart?
because its you
because...
because.

'fuck this shit
for i am
broken
no wait
for i am
beyond repair
no wait
for i am
DEAD'

be able to hold on much longer
just once more
and i will be broken and hurt
beyond repair
beyond healing
will i ever learn my lesson
i wonder
no i do not believe in it
but i
am
somewhere
waiting
...

'don't cut me down
don't count me out
just yet...'

can you hear the silence?
its my heart
its not beating anymore
do you even care?
of course you don't.
somebody revive my heart.
wait.
don't bother.
there's no point.
cause
I DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE IN LOVE.
AND YOU DON'T FUCKING CARE.

'It was my heart,
It was my life,
It was my start,
It was your knife. '

someone show me the way
take away all of the pain
its setting in heavy inside
though i've sacrificed more than my ego and pride

the knife found on the scene
drenched with the dreaded red fluid
did you come to stand with your thoughts
or to wash away the blood

i have been dealt a glimpse of hell
look into my black eyes,can you tell
the darkness within,killing me
and yet i yearn to stay on this scene

am i supposed to leave with my head down
pretend i am fine when in fact i am burnt
i will fight;i will fall
till the angels save me from it all

its screaming to let you know
that i am still right here below
i need you;i want you;i see you there
but you don't even know;you don't even care

'if this is what its like;
then i might just quit

sick with myself;
but i've got no one else'

hate this fucking feeling
like i don't fucking exist
apparently,i am Mr Nobody

'you don't even know;
and probably don't even care'

but that's okay
its partly my fault
...

i thought i told you baby
what goes around
comes back around
...

and this rhyme is specially for you:-


'The future that we both drew,
And all the shit we've been through.
Obsessed with the thought of you,
The pain just grew and grew!

How could you do this to me?
Look at what I made for you,
It never was enough and
The world is what I gave to you'

you were too greedy
nothing was enough
now you've been done unto
what you did to me
tell me,
how does it feel?
it's exactly what i felt

...


p.s. i came across this somewhere on the Net

'Love can sometimes be magic;
but magic can sometimes just be an illusion'

so fucking true don't you think?

i focus too much on pretending
just to hide the truth
but the truth is..
it hurts.

'i used to be lovestruck;
now i'm just fucked up'

I won't breathe unless you breathe
Won't bleed unless you bleed
Won't be unless you be
Till i am gone and i can sleep

I am running in circles
I hurt myself
Just to find my purpose

Everything is so worthless
I don't deserve this
But to me you are perfect

...

i see now
this shit i feel inside
its one-sided.

just let me burn
for the thoughts
when i am just thoughtless.

just let me burn
for the heart
when i am just heartless.

should i say goodbye
i'll take one last breath
push it on my chest till there's nothing left.

i know that
my mind's near its end
i hurt myself and fell.

i've been abused
i feel so used
i'm always thinking of you.

take me
make me
these three tears are deadly.

these lungs have sung this song
for far too long and its true
i hurt too for i miss you.

so watch my chest heave
as this breath breathes your name as it leaves
I AM TRYING TO BE
WHAT YOU'RE DYING TO SEE.

where

what

who

am i

in your eyes?

do

you

even

see

me

in your eyes?


'i am trying to be;what you're dying to see'
'sick of myself;but i've got no one else'

the new entry to my top ten favourite bands: Hollywood Undead
Their genre: Rap Rock
Members:Charlie Scene · Johnny 3 Tears · J-Dog · Da Kurlzz · Deuce AKA Tha Producer · Funny Man




































my favourite member: Da Kurlzz
partly because of his mask
damn cool.hahas
he's the drummer of the band

you are just too perfect for me

and
you don't even know

and
is there a possibility
my dream
will become
a reality

and
should i let you know

and
will i
get the
chance
to prove
myself

and
will you
let me in
someday

...


p.s. to the bitch from my past,my hell : -

my heart;your knife
my blood;your smile

your promises;my hell
your lies;i felt

care to find out
if i am the exception?
i'll prove you wrong
take my hand
don't let go
and i'll take you
to a place
no one will ever know
a place
where your misery will die
just
give me
a
chance
it will be
the best choice
you will
ever make
in your life
so far
...


'it might not make sense now;
but let's take a chance

you can kill me later;
if i hurt you'

don't need you
not yet
but i want you
i miss you
but i..
don't need you..
yet...

you're a constant thought
this is how i feel
but am i even making sense?

round and round again
i wonder when was the turning point
that caused that huge twist of fate
and left me living the life of the wretched
the wanderer
the soulless

and so it goes...
round and round again
coming to a full circle
a vicious circle
the prospect
the hope
the oppurtunity
the realisation
the misery
the darkness
the confusion
the lost
the pain
and at the end of it all..
THE END.

and so it goes...
round and round again
the never-ending search
for the righteous
for the virtue
for the sign
a glimpse of its eyes
and then
like always
it disappears
the coldness then engulfs me
colder than my heart
if you can imagine

and so it goes...
round and round again
till i get
a call
from
GOD


'like a free for all;
the good ones are always taken'

there's nothing left of me

take this heart;
its ticking like a cheap clock

take this heart;
its ticking like a time bomb

i am not running anymore
i'll stand my ground
face the odds
i'll fight
for every breath
till there's nothing left of me...

all i need is
you
to believe in me...

If there is no such thing as perfection,
then why do people still insanely strive for perfection?


on the other hand,
am i surprised with whats going on lately?
no.
it has happened more than once before.
i am used to it.
but it does not mean i like it.
i really need school to re-open soon.
at least over there,
i can take out my frustrations
at whoever happens to cross my path.
so yea,for the next few weeks,
cross my path at your own risk fags.
especially you.
you one stupid,idiotic motherfucker.
you want trouble?
you'll get it.
to those who really knows me (yea just a few handful of you),
don't worry.
i am not gonna be who i was back then.
the one who used temper to solve problems.
this time,
i am just gonna use words to hurt.
but if it comes down to it,
i WILL use force.
meh,fuck you.
i need an outlet for all this pent-up energy...



'i spent my time;
contemplating your end'

i will definitely miss you
thats for sure
looks like my lonely nights
are gonna get lonelier
cause there will be nobody
to chat or text or layan my nonesense
hahahha
but i think i will survive
if you promise you'll come back
hahahah
anyway
have fun over there yea
try not to miss me
muahahahahah
okay take care aites
happy holidaying my gendeng friend
:))

defy the odds
fight for the rights
battle for my beliefs
struggle for my dreams
refuse to give in
reach for what's rightfully mine
uplift the beaten
entice the damned
envelope the darkness
recreate the beaten path
change my destiny
evolve
take you down
and
WIN THE WAR
...


'out of the darkness;
comes a hero'

NORLIYANA BTE ABDUL MANAF!
OUR PLAN TO MEET UP NEXT WEEK BETTER JADI.
BECAUSE.
I.
MISS.
YOU.

:)

remind you gently that
winning battles
DOES NOT
mean
you have won
the war
kid
...

ME.

i
smiled
laughed
joked
teased
pretended
not to care
nothing's wrong
nothing's bothering me

what a performance
what an actor
a round of applause please...

Labels: bravo

beautiful
but i am a loser inside
on a suicide mission to die...


p.s. Beautiful Loser - William Control
look it up...

Labels: beautiful loser

do i say sorry
for whatever shit i may have caused you
how do i say sorry
when one look at it
as irreversible
thinking back
it slipped under my radar
in a world i created on my own
delusional
i got carried away
with something that never existed
and never will
my intentions never change
what i wanted stays the same
take a look
they were pure
my heart may be black
but my intentions were never tainted
Is this where I let go
Is this where I get by on my own now
I'm on my own
Am I breaking up
Is there something wrong here
Something's wrong...

'so why don't you let me know if i could
grow with you, i'm falling for you
i think it's time for me to say
i've kept this mouth shut far too long
i'm sorry, i'm sorry'

Labels: so tell me, tell me..

to go back to post-hardcore.
SCREAM.

and to whom it may concern (yes i am referring to you 'orang'):

dude,whoever you are,i shall assume you're not 6 years old.
but you're acting like one.
and i am assuming you're a guy.
if you're a chick,well,is that you Norani?you're already irritating enough in class.
will you stop bothering me?
hahah
anyway,hate tags?come on man.you can do better than that.
i don't know you;you don't know me.
you don't have the rights to call me names.
and neither do i to do likewise.
so i shall keep my cool,i won't curse or swear,and shall handle this maturely.
'org taik rambut taik'?
say what you want man.
that's just your opinion.
and people are entitled to their opinions.
so here's my opinion(blogs after all,ARE for opinions): i actually think my hair is pretty cool.
call it emo or whatever.i have flaws.everybody does.
but at least,i don't go around calling people i don't know names.
if i did something to offend you somehow,come right to me.
talk to me.
because,I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG TO ANYONE.
but if you think i did something to you,
i am right here man.
tell me what i did.
if indeed,i did something wrong,then i shall apologise.
but until i am proven guilty,i shall fight for my rights.
peace out man.the world has too much wars going on already.
i shall monitor my tagboard very closely for you...
:)

on a side note,
one's need to be constantly reassured,
sickens me.

Labels: me and the demon inside.

i realise
that it is nothing
but fucking pain
misery
dark
blood
death
or what some of you call
LOVE
i just know
it hurts
and i can't bear it no more
and no i don't believe in love
i took a chance and decided to take its hand
and look what it did to me...

'my heart is no longer what you know
for i have become heartless.'

Labels: fuck love.