and yet another one says
'sorry......'

and yet another one says to me
'you're really funny.i can't stop laughing'
sometimes i wonder,
is my sense of humour all that people notice?
sometimes i wonder,
if i can make people laugh and make them feel good,
why can't i do the same to myself?
on the outside,
i try my best to remain upbeat.
to entertain people.
to pick them up when they're down.
but inside,
i am lost....

she took my friendliness for something else...
and for that...
i.
am.
sorry.

p.s. its my fucking business how loud i want to blast my headphones.
what's YOUR fucking problem!?
i cant blast my headphones
but you can blast your laptop!?
fuck you.
dont fuck with me today.

wooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!
new blog skin is now up!!
manan,i love you dude!!
hahahah
this is all his work.
i'm not this artisic.
anyway,there are some similarities
between mine and his.
lets just say,it represents how close we are.
he's almost like the brother i never had....
hahahah

-asyraf-

Labels: stop the bleeding.

no point trying to save the situations.
in the end,i'm on the losing end.
in the end,i bleed again...



'make me believe.'


p.s. yana,you are now part of the mod squad.
welcome to the club.
:)


p.p.s new blog skin and design almost done.
check for updates.stay tuned.

p.p.p.s thanks mann.


p.p.p.p.s yana,i miss you.
same school,but punye la susah to even see your face.
-_- hahahs

love or lust?
personally,at the moment,i prefer lust.
nobody's feelings will get hurt.
there'll be lots of pleasure.
its a win-win situation.
till somebody can convince me
love is something special,
i don't want anything to do with it.
I've seen close friends crash and burn because of love.
I'll learn from their mistakes.
I'll learn from MY mistakes.....


'Fuck fuck fuck
i wanna fuck till we bleed and
there's a time crush baby i don't wanna believe...'


-acap-

Labels: i don't fucking believe in love.

confused.
four,now coming to five,different situations.
people will get hurt.
i'm afraid.
tell me what to do.
the ones that matter are off-limits.
should i let go?
and be left with nothing?
i know i have to distance myself.
i'm only inviting trouble.
but i.....
am in the middle of nothing and at the bottom of everything....

-acap-

Labels: love or lust?

work was boring but tiring today.
extremely tiring.
but Teha finally came to work after like so long MIA.
hahas
oh wells.
some of the guys,including me,Arry,Fitri and all got shouted at in front of guests
by the person in charge for something we did not do.
anyway,
i still don't know why my colleagues and a few other people,like the new friends i made at RP,
don't believe two things about me.
1st,that i made into RP from NITEC.
especially my colleagues.
Every single one like in disbelief im in RP.
i guess that's because im not really the hardworking type.
2nd,people find it hard to believe that i don't have a girlfriend.
this is the conversation i had with Arry and Jai when we were supposed to be working.hahs
Arry:kau confirm pe tkde pmpn cap?
Jai:ah2 sia dok.kau peh muke tkde matair?
Me:aku seriously tkde sia.diri sendiri tk terjage ape lagi klau ade matair.haha
they still don't believe me.-_-
suckers.

so anyway tomorrow 1st day of school.
kinda miss my new friends already.
my orientation friends.not my classmates.i don't really know my classmates yet.
anyway,even though most of my orientation friends are younger than me,they still rock.
they're the reason i survived the damn orientation programme.
hahs
and of all people,siva wished me luck.
hmm....

'i still dream.
but what should i believe?'

Labels: fuck love.

fucking sucks to be poorer than others.FUCKING sucks.
really does.

-acap-

Labels: fucking pissed off at the people above.

sometimes i wonder.
sometimes i really want to know.
but maybe i'm better off not knowing.
because sometimes,
and only sometimes,
ignorance is bliss.

:)

on an unrelated note,
manan has kindly agreed to makeover this blog.
can't wait to see how it will turn out.
as we all know,
when mann designs,
it always turns out better than expected.
our final year ITE project is proof.
you're the best man.

oh and the next post will be more pics
from the Genting trip.
i'm still waiting for the videos from Halim.
-_-

-acap-

p.s.

hiding in the wreckage of my past
walking hand in hand with shame
standing among the weak
should i let it pass?

bear in mind that when we were there
we didn't really bother to wash up.
we were more concerned about having fun.
hence,the stale faces and crappy hair setups.
hahs

p.s.

i killed my ego
buried my demons
broke the walls down
and starting to build an empire
from ashes of my burnt,broken dreams.
but i still don't believe in love
for now anyway..
in the future,who knows?

-acap-

more to come...
in time...

p.s. will be starting my polytechnic term in a couple of weeks.
which poly?that's for me to know and for you to find out.
special thanks to mann and sani for getting me where i am.

-acap-