'I'll Be Your Saviour And It Could Be Just Like Heaven'


nothing much to update.went street soccer on monday.been a long time.i was pleased with my performance however.even though i did not play my normal 'run-at-defenders-and-fool-them-with-tricks' game,but instead played in a slightly withdrawn role(and therefore receving more of the ball)i felt i did better than the last time i played soccer at the Cage.i'm glad that horror stuff by me did not affect my confidence much.i was pleased with how i defended.and i finally started to feel at ease with my passing.maybe i'll start playing in a playmaker role.hmm...

started jogging again this week.am in a race against time to catch up on my fitness.match on saturday against a team we have never won(they are poly guys who are 2-3 years older than us.this is not an excuse.its fyi.).practise at St Wilfried on friday.looking forward to both days.however,my fitness is way off.before puasa,i regularly jogged from my flat in sengkang to punggol and back(which is about,give and take,3 km).now that i am starting again,its a struggle.its my own fault for procastinating.oh wells..

am writing a song at the moment.though i'm not sure whether i'll let manan listen to it.what's the point?my songs rarely get developed properly.so why write u ask?well,its an outlet for me to let out whatever thats bothering me inside.

speaking of which,you need a laugh,you need a backup in case u get involved in stupid fights,you need someone to count on,you need anything at all people,i'm the man.just as long as you don't take my kindness for weakness.yes,i do have a short temper.i have a history of bad temper(its in the genes.i got it from my mother.my father however,is alot more patient.he rarely raises his voice.and has never hit me.my mother on the other hand,has whacked me with belts,feather dusters,brooms,you name it,she did it back in my younger years.ironic huh?hahs)but i've disciplined myself to be more patient.but blow my fuse,and you're a goner.peace.

'Your reflection i've erased.
Like a thousand burned out yesterdays.
Belive me when i say goodbye
Forever is for good...'

-acap-

p.s. let's give it a chance
we could light up each other's worlds
and then maybe
it could be just like heaven...

Labels: ....myself on fire

'To The Edge Of The Earth'

Kicking things off,starting with this post,blog songs will be songs by my personal favourite band,30 Seconds to Mars(and in my own opinion,one of the best bands ever formed.especially by an actor.usually actors suck at music.but somehow,Jared Leto rock the scene.a freaking genius.)Me and my blog partner(and one of the few people who truly understands me.I owe you alot dude.Why the hell am i suddenly sentimental?haha.maybe its because i realise we'll be graduating soon.),Manan,are huge fans of them.We're part of their famous street team called 'Echelon'.The songs will be songs that mean alot to me and that i can relate to.The meanings are deep.So you won't get the message unless you have get the feel of the song.Today's featured song is 'Was It A Dream?'

Went jamming today with PaperCranes.Its been a long time since we played together.The last outing was our peformance gig at HomeClub.That was like 2-3 months ago.So we were understandbly rusty.We managed to play 'Edge Of The Earth' for the first time though.Which is a really hard song to play.Downside is,ZZ had not learned the lyrics.Idiot.Haha.All round,there's room for improvement.There always is.Manan rocked the drums as always.Raman was just okay.Hahs.He forgot some chords.I'm not sure what the others thought of my perfomance on bass.

I'm not in the best of moods at the moment.Stupid flu is bugging me.And there's this feeling of resignation that's deep within me.It keeps coming up unexpectedly and i tend to be moody.And can i just say that most people don't know what it means to balance their commitments?And do i always have to do everything?Then leave me for dead when i'm not needed?

'Its time to make
The final sacrifice.
You've opened up
Before these eyes.
Wasted time
A wasted life.
Listen to me now
Its time to...'

-acap-

Labels: .....it's time to rise

I'm a fucking failure.I can't even pass a simple BTT.I can't write good music for the band.The songs i write tend to end up discarded.I suck at soccer.I can't even head for God's sake.And despite a GPA score of 3.3(which is pretty average),i probably won't make it to poly next year.I can't even get a part-time job.What more can i say?I'm a fucking failure.I'm just a disappointment to myself and everybody around me.

acap

Labels: .....the final sacrifice

'The Moments Of Truth Are Never What You Want Them To Be'

First of,Sani has changed his blog and stuff.It looks simple yet pretty cool dude.Good job(as always).

Moving on,lets start with Friday.I met ZZ and saw his swollen lip.I was then told by him he got into a fight in school.To cut a long story short,apparently,he got punched from his blind spot.He wasn't facing the guy and the fucker took advantage by punching ZZ when he least expected it.Coward.They(the so-called 'mat reps') all are.So when ZZ was busy getting trying to figure out why the hell he was being confronted,what did his 'friends' do?They,typically,stood far,far away and watched like it was all one damn show.The same exact fucking thing happened to me when i was in Secondary 3.I was confronted in the school quandrangle during recess right in the face of everybody else.I was outnumbered 7:1 if my memory serves me right(i was busy plotting a way to get my ass out of that situation in one piece.I didn't had the luxury of time to count them.All i knew was that there was too many of them to be confronting one defenseless guy.Which,in this case,is me.).I was shoved and,at one point,slapped in the face.What did the rest of the damn school population did?They just watched me getting pummeled.To be fair to my close friends,none of them happened to be there.So i assume,if they were there,they would have helped me out.Now,if i were there when ZZ got confronted,I would have helped him beat the crap out of that guy.This is just not tough talk.ZZ is one of my closest friends for whom i will go to any length of trouble to help.Even if it means getting my face disfigured.Not that my face is wonderful to look at as it is(according to friends' opinions.Hahs!).I would sacrifice anything to help my true friends(you guys know who you are.If you don't,well,you're an idiot.HA!).It is only in times of real need,when you will know who your real friends are.Farhan is one of mine.During the time those idiots kept pestering me in Sec 3,he was always there by me.To at least ensure that,in case i got confronted again,i won't be alone.

Now moving on,after solat jumaat,we went to play soccer at the Cage in Kallang.I am very very disappointed with my performance that day.I was exhausted by the third game and basically just lost my way.I was technically,mentally,physically poor that day.I don't blame my team-mates for cursing me more than usual that day.I deserved it.I vow to improve by the next game.

So i slept over last night at Kak Ana's house.To watch soccer(to be more precise,Liverpool Fc)with her husband,Abang Faizal.It was 12+ in the morning when Liverpool scored the winning goal.Did we care?nooooopppeee...We shouted our throats out in joy.It was a miracle no neighbour screamed vulgarities at us to make us shut up.Next week,i'm going there again.Liverpool vs Chelsea.Its a must watch.

Went swimming earlier today with ZZ and Shafiq.Me and ZZ completed 30 laps.We used to be able to do 50.But since its been a long time,we decided to take it easy.Shafiq,coming with us for the first time ever,struggeled to keep up.I'm not sure he even reached 10 laps.Don't worry dude.You'll catch up soon.

On a leaving note,i'm working on a couple of songs for the band me and Manan are planning to set up.But i've been busy lately.Don't expect too much too soon.Oh and tomorrow is my BTT!Wish me luck.Oh and Abang Asyik and his sayang(whom i'm sure will be his wife in a few years time),Kak Aisyah dropped by a couple of hours ago.They look happy together.Good for them.Only downside is,me and Abang Asyik seem to be drifting apart.We used to be like brothers when we were younger.Oh wells....Shit happens.

'I swear to God i'll find myself in the end.
Will you be there when it happens?'

-acap-

Labels: .....and come crawl inside

'Can You Hear.....The Silence?'

On my way back home from Adli's place today(thanks for everything dude),i thought i recognised someone from the not too distant past.Someone whom i had forgotten about for a blissful while.You know i was there.i know you were there.There's no denying it.You obviously tried hard to avoid me,thinking i had not notice you.Unfortunately,i already had.But i had no desire to try and talk to you.So i gladly avoided you too.We both avoided each other and that's the best way it is for both of us.It frustrates me to say this but damn you,i could'nt completely ignore you.Despite the air of arrogance around you(anyone can feel your arrogance from a distance away),you're just too fucking attractive for me.Damn you.But let's face it.You're not for me and i'm not for you.In fact,you'll make some unlucky guy's life a living hell in the future.To any dudes who happen to have feelings for her,good luck guys.Good luck trying to get her attention.Trust me,you guys are not important enough for her.You'll only get hurt in the end.I should have listened to the people back in Siglap.They were,suprisingly,actually right about you.Don't get me wrong.When you're in the mood,you're a great person.You definitely have the looks,the brains,the body(hehehs).I enjoyed the whatever friendship we had last time and i still regret that i was so close yet still so far and burned my chance.But what you don't have my dear,is the right attitude.You should stop treating people as if you're way better then them.I'm not saying i'm perfect.I never will be.So maybe its time you stop thinking you are.

'Run away,
Go change yourself.'

-acap-

Labels: .....you know its time to burn them

'Sudden Change'

Ever felt that sinking feeling in your stomach when something brings you down emotionally?Sucks doesn't it?Well i am used to that feeling.But doesn't mean i have to like it do i?As people keep turning back on me,backstabbing me,misery keeps following me around.People expecting me to achieve things on their behalf and for their own benefits has taken its toll on me.Patience is calling out to me.And time and time again i have always answered its call.Hoping it will somehow work things out for me.But then,when hopes turns to dust,to whom does one turn to?I am itching to make a move.Soon.


'I know its here we retreat to.
Where else would we go to?'

-acap-

Labels: .....To whom do I turn to then?

hello eeeEEEeee~
okay people!
the date problem is finally fixed!
haha.
sorry that i rarely update here.
pretty much lazy.
oh wells,
taking cares people.
see y'all in a heartbeat!

~hours pass into minutes, kissing the seconds away.

Labels: and days, they seem to melt just like your classic summers.

'My Faith Is Still Alive'

Today is 14th of dear old October.But i have no idea why it says 9th instead at the top.
Anyway i've been meaning to update this dump of mine but kept procrastinating.But here i am now typing away.
As they say,'Good things come to those who wait'.And i can't agree more.After decades of agonising wait,i have finally bought my very own PSP.Sleepless nights won't be such a source of irate for me no more.

Another thing to note,albeit rather randomly,i just can't stand girls and their mood swings.They keep getting me off guard every single time it happens..I swear when by the time women are finally understood by men,the world would by then be close to its end.Don't misquote me though.I think women are great.In their own special ways.I'm just saying they can be a pain in the ass sometimes.I will admit though,in that sense,guys are not too much different.Try paying attention in my class when its attendance is pretty high(which is once in a blue moon),and you'll get what i mean.On another,but slightly related note,i am extremely enjoying my nightly chats on MSN lately.And yep,it has everything to do with girls.Well to be more specific,with just this one fun girl.HAHA!But i do mean that sincerely.In case she happens to b reading this.Hahah

Anyway,had my NS medical screening with Manan and Ilyas yesterday.It was certainly an eye-opening experience.Literally.I slept at 4 am on the day and woke up at 6 am.So obviously the lack of sleep affected my reactions and speed of thought.I was basically dragging my ass off my bed in an effort to get ready to meet my two dudes mentioned above.My eyes were slightly puffy and bloodshot.But i couldn't care less.Much later in the day,i was told by Manan slippers were not allowed.By then i was a hundred miles away from home in my 3/4 pants,Polo T,emo cap and,yep,slippers.The damn place is at Depot Rd and there was no way for me to change in time.But again,i couldn't care less.I was still groggy and slightly disoriented from lack of sleep and my rumbling stomach didn't make things better.On the way there,in an effort to wake up,i put on my headphones and 5 minutes later,30 Seconds to Mars was blasting in my ears.Did that jerk me fully awake?Noooooppppppeeee.....I was zoned out.It was only when we were there,after taking the urine test,i became wide awake.Why?Well,we were about to get our blood tested and the prospect of having a stranger jabbing a needle in my arm finally aroused my senses.The whole series of tests,which includes having my precious balls checked(which i'm proud to say is in fine working condition.HA!),took a whole 4 hours.I got classified under PES B.Because,according to the Medical Officer,i am slightly underweight.Which suprised me to say the least.I have NEVER in my 18 years of life(18 already?and in a few months,19?man i'm getting old),been called underweight.Acceptable weight,certainly.Overweight,definitely,for a few years.In fact that was just 5 years ago.Time flies huh?

Oh and will someone please from time to time remind me to study for my BTT?Its next week monday and i 've roughly covered only about 15% of the book.I fail this one,its 30 bucks burned,people.Thank you.

I'll like to finish off by saying,some people can really be stupid motherfuckers who have no respect for teachers(to teachers who deserve it of course.not all do.),much less for others around them who are trying to study in an effort to build a solid future for themselves.Now i don't know what these assholes' plans for their future are,and i don't fucking care.But,please,for God's sake,i hope they soon realise the world does NOT revolve around them.But i seriously doubt their puny brains(if they even have one) and fucked up attitudes will get the message.I,for one,am certainly not putting high hopes on that happening.To those who feel insulted by this,too bad.You have no feelings for others and i will return that favour in kind.Its for 'the greater good'.HA!

'A revolution has begun today for me inside
The ultimate defense is to pretend
Revolve around yourself just like an ordinary man
The only other option is to forget

Does it feel like we've never been alive?
Does it seem like it's only just begun?

To find yourself just look inside the wreckage of your past
To lose it all you have to do is lie
The policy is set and we are never turning back
It's time for execution; time to execute
Time for execution; time to execute

Does it feel like we've never been alive?
Does it seem like it's only just begun?
Does it feel like we've never been alive inside?
Does it seem it's only just begun?
It's only just begun...'

P.S to Manan and Sani
Kakashi will NOT die.
He'll become the next hokage.
HAHA

-acap-

Labels: .....get noticed

'The Charismatic Enigma In Me'




Even since the festivities began,the never-ending enquiries and questioning of my eating habits has irked me.A change of diet is apparently a cause for concern among my family and relatives.And they are pointing it out as the main reason why i fell sick,and am still sick,for the past 4 days.I've tried deafening my ears.As you all probably know,there's just no use reasoning with adults.At the end of the day,they still think they are right and everyone else is wrong.I do love them though.No doubt about that.

Continuing with something totally unrelated,I am trying my best to recover fully by monday.Got plans to carry out.This pain is killing me.Patience,however,is starting to become my best friend.Although,misery really DOES love company...

On the School front,i have managed to improve my GPA score this term.By a huge amount of.... 0.1
You read it right my loyal readers(yea all 2 of you..).I scored 3.3 this term compared to my 3.2 last term.A 'B' grade for network fundamentals was the least i expected,but i am relieved nonetheless.I was startled to discover,however,that i was still light-years behind the 'Genius Sannins' in class(I see myself more as a lazy,albeit an electricfying, Jounin.Hah!).Mainly,Sani,Manan,Ilyas and probably Manfred too.They scored,as usual and is their habit,a 4.0.That's a perfect score people.I am seriously doubting my chances of going to poly.Already 4 people in class are scoring perfect 4s.How the heck am i supposed to plead my case to the polytechnics in Singapore with just a 3.3 when my classmates managed a 4?Nevertheless,i am very grateful to the people mentioned above(with the exception of manfred)for helping me with my studies.

I doubt there's still anybody reading by this point.Seeing i have nothing better to do though,i shall plough on.Some of you may be wondering why this post seems different than the past.
The clearer than clear reason is,for some of you who are slightly slow on the uptake,is that i have decided to use proper english.It is high time i practise my B3 English that i scored for 'O' Levels.Pardon the occasional Japanese,Latin,vulgarities,Tamil and my limited grasp of the ancient language of cavemen that i may use in future posts.This is so that my diverse readers will comprehend the message that i exert to convey.On a second last note,to whom it may concern,i hope we did not get off on the wrong foot.If we did,i am willing to start over.Lastly,check out Manan's new blog skin(finally bro.).Awesomeness.Check out too my new blog song.An instrumental that is influenced by hip-hop and rock,take some time off to listen to the drum solo in the bridge part of the track.Jabbawockeez followers may or may not be able to identify the track.

'If i wasn't just a somebody like me,
Would your decision have been different?'

-acap-

Labels: ....is never enough

i don't know if i'm the cause of it.
things fell apart pretty quickly.
i've always sucked at it anyway.
and i have no idea how to change that.
i was just being sincere and nice.
but i guess that either turned her off or she just didn't like it.
at this point,there's nothing much i can do.
except to be patient.
there's always a reason why things happen.
i'm still looking for it...

-acap-

Labels: ...someone can tell me why