a lunatic's lament

zombie

i couldnt sleep the whole of last night
worrying worries.
just how much disappointment
can a guy take in just
a couple of days?
bad news after bad news after bad news..
all i wanted to do was perform.
why does it have to be this hard?
we have 15 unsold tickets
caused by people
who originally said
they would come down
to support us.
but last minute backed out.
irni and haliejah,
i'm not talking about you guys..
i understand your situations.
i'm not talking about you too yana..
where the hell are we gonna find the money
to pay the organisers
for the unsold tickets by tomorrow?
they amount to abt 150 bucks..
shit..
all those hours of me staring at the ceiling
last night,
i found myself asking myself
the question that
alot of people has been asking me..
why the heck can't i move on?
suprisingly
i found the answer immediately.
i guess despite
me trying to move on
by making myself busy,
by doing a whole lot of things
to try and forget her,
i found out that,
deep down in my heart,
she's still there..
no matter what i'm doing,
deep in the back of my mind,
i still think of her..
my feelings for her,
has never changed
right from the 1st day..
in fact,she's the only one i want now..
but i'm not that stupid..
this kind of things can't be forced..
but if i'm going down,
i'm not going down without a fight..
i just wanna be happy..
with her by my side...
i just want her to be happy..
with me by her side...
i'm guilty as you want me to be...
i'll be honest,
you're the one i need,
i'm the one you don't really think about,
i'm just an idiot who admires you..
glad you're my friend :)

'i wish i could be,
every little thing that you want,
that you need,
all the time,
so that you'll be happy...
all the time....'

-acap-

Labels: i just wanna be happy...with you...