a lunatic's lament

Hey mann
ure doin a good job wif the designs
and take it easy
dont be so hard on yourself
anw,it juz occured to me dis morning
dat i always seem to wake up in a bad mood
i wonder why
i love goin to sleep
but its the waking up process
dats hard
hahs
im so bored out of my mind
oh btw mann!
aku da leh main emily
haha
tapi cume starting je
picking nye part
tu pun sikit2
haha
anw dalam bulan puasa ni
i keep finding myself thinking
about what im doing with my life
i know what i wanna achieve
but am i doin enuff to achieve?
hmm...
i oso found out that
these last few days
i keep turning to God
for help in even the smallest things
i wonder why....
i feel guilty
cuz all these years
ive never really spared Him a thought
i oso found that im missing a few people
like my adek sedare for example
we were very close when we were young
but then,
his parents got divorced
he and his younger sis
followed their n mom migrated to Australia
i wonder how he's doing now....
i miss him like crazy..
and his dad,who's my uncle.
owes my family money
but we have no idea where he is now
some people.....
i miss my abang sedare too..
ever since we fought when i was in sec 2
we never reali got close again
he was my mentor
but nowadays,he's got a life
got a diploma
got a girlfriend,kak Aisyah.
shes nice.
he's taking buisness classes now
while he's finishing NS.
so i guess dat leaves me nowhere huh?
i dun wanna grow old lonely
but dats wat im feeling rite now
i feel hungry too
hahs
and i miss yana too...
she didnt reply my last msg
so i guess she's facing some probs
and i should leave her alone..

'I realise im still too young
No need to get commited
To just go with the flow
No rush
Yet if im not made for you
Then why does my heart
tell me that i am?'

-AcAp-

Labels: planning my next move....